Is Stroud Green the new Crouch End?

puzzlebobble

I know I'm going to put the cat amongst the pigeons with this one, and risk being drummed out of town, but heck why not.

What's with all the babies and toddlers? Where did they all come from? I'm sure they're multiplying; soon enough we'll not be able to walk from Woody's to the Worlds end without negotiating starfish-pram-yummymummy constellations. We might as well demolish Paks and erect a f*****g clock tower and be done with it.

I'm suggesting a study based on 'The Big Garden Birdwatch' to monitor the situation. All volunteers should spend one hour staring out their front windows tabulating the number/size and plumage of any small people they see (with particular note of whether they're in a pram so big the disc brakes are controlled by satellite). I know where Bill Oddie lives in Hampstead; we just kidnap him and force him to present the results on a network of all the shop-front LCD screens up and down SGR. It'd rock.

Not that I'm saying I don't like toddlers; I just find them even less filling than a Fullback Thai.

I blame that woman from the Front Room.

Colette

Are you actually RainbowCarnage, or are you baby haters multiplying? (no, I don't have a baby)

rainbow_carnage

You got me all wrong. I adore children. I used to work with four-year-olds many years ago, and loved every minute of it. Can't wait to have some myself.

What I dislike are parents. Specifically, parents who think that their precious angels are somehow special and that everyone else should think so, too. This includes parents who let their kids run around screaming inside a small cafe, completely disregarding the needs of everyone else in the room. Also, parents who jam gigantic prams onto public transport at rush hour and get offended if other passengers take issue with having said prams parked on top of their toes.

matt

God help your kids, then

katiejane

@RC - try getting out of the way! Here's a thing - when you sit down on the bus, put your feet out in front of you instead of in the aisle...! Having said that, I partly sympathise. I've just been in the cafe at priory park (with my two) where the bloody fuss made by two mothers over their brood was nauseating. That, and one of them changed their kids nappy on a sofa just behind where we were eating our lunch. Nice.

unaesthetic

if the pushchairs weren't the size of armoured personnel carriers, i wouldn't mind parents bringing them on the bus and tube. the people that piss me off are the ones who not only drive these bloody great pram-tanks around, but who have an immensely inflated sense of self-importance about them. they shove them violently into a busy tube carriage and snap at people for daring to already be on the tube before their grand entrance.

i plan on being a marsupial dad. i really like those backpack-harness things, especially the ones round the front for the smaller babies. a responsible use of space and apparently beneficial to the child, too.

poxy

When you've walked a mile in my shoes we'll ask for your opinion again.

For sale: One baby carrier.
Will swap for: One catering size packet of Nurofen.

Now, which chiropractor / osteopath / traction machine operative was recommended?

katiejane

Totally! I think, unaesthetic, a reality check might be in order here, but that's parenting for you - one cataclysmic reality check.

dion

I hate people who hate children. I HATE THEM.

andy

Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticise him, you'll be a mile away - and have his shoes. (thanks very much, tip the veal, try the waitress)

andy

*a reality check might be in order here, but that's parenting for you -**one cataclysmic reality check**.* this, as I imagine you realise, is not a great advert for having kids

rainbow_carnage

@ katiejane - Sit down on the bus? You must be joking. As much as I'd like to be in a seat, legs neatly tucked under, most often I find myself standing in the aisle, trapped between smelly armpits and a monstrous pram.

I love how every parent seems to think that they are some sort of an explorer, singlehandedly discovering the difficulties of parenthood. And yet there are many parents who manage to raise children without an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. And bless the ones who fold up their prams before getting on the tube. They must have some sort of super powers.

It's easy to say that it's hypocritical for a non-parents to criticise bad parenting. Yet somehow we have no problems criticising politicians, policemen, cab drivers, etc., having never walked in their shoes. Pretty much any profession is fair game, isn't it?

dion

I am feeling pretty angry today, must be my reality check kicking in and realising my life is ruined and that I am stuck in a job I don't like and can't do so won't be able to afford to take my whingeing, screaming brats of kids to cafes to annoy people like rainbow_carnage and unaesthetic, puzzlebobble and the rest, just for kicks and to see them wince and move away. I salute the woman in that great article on the other thread getting kicked out of Pappagone's for having the guts to get out of her house, get all the way up to SGR and to get a whole restaurant so pissed off they chucked her out with her own screaming kid. I hope she ruined a few people's bad or alternatively great (depending on your point of view) pizzas.

katiejane

not folding your buggy up on the tube/bus whatever = bad parenting? hmmm. @RC - have you tried upstairs? I bet you're one of those people who stands up by the exit doors then gets really pissed off when people have the audacity to - errr - want to get off. of course we're not explorers - of course people have been through it before, and I'm pretty sure they'll all tell you the same thing - it pushes you to its limits. It's no way as easy as it seems, and you can ONLY, ONLY know how hard it is when it happens to you. So unless unaesthetic was being ironic, I hope you guys have twins! Then you can carry one each all the time in your papooses - a pox on your pelvic floor!!

tosscat

YOU GO PEOPLE - THIS IS WHAT THIS FORUM IS FOR. #WOOHOO!

andy

@t/c You missed "You Go, Girlfriend" in that post.

katiejane

@ tosscat - where to now, oh master of insulting people on discuission forums? btw - where's david? beijing? @ RC - one last thing. I'm a full time parent. Give me the salary of a politician, policeman or cab driver and you can throw whatever the hell you like at me X

puzzlebobble

I think I might just vomit on the next person who says 'it's the most important job in the world'.
I mean ffs- I'd like to see them say that to Ban Ki-Moon.

katiejane

who said that PB? not me.

katiejane

Can't we all just, y'know, get along?

dion

Nor me. I think Ben Bernanke has the most important job in the world. I don't think looking after a couple of kids comes anywhere close to managing the global economy. Everyone still thinks its Kofi Annan. On second thoughts, BKM and KA both have children too. Maybe we should ask them?

tosscat

@ andy ##You go girlfriend!

puzzlebobble

That's because you haven't reached the critical mass necessary to foster the delusion -yet.
That's what I'm afraid of. The psychotic world of Crouch End mummydom. They're like zombies. Except with tennis rackets and shiny-white teeth.

andy

love it. thanks t/c

rainbow_carnage

@katiejane - Alas, I'm not one of those people who stands by the exit doors. I'm one of those people who rushes upstairs in hopes of getting the front seat. I like to pretend that I'm driving the bus. Sadly, the upstairs is often full, and I have no choice but to stand downstairs.

I'll tell you what, though. While I've never been a parent, I was once a child. My little brother was born right after I turned two. That was the last time I got to sit in a pram. Back in the mother country, most families could not afford the luxury of two prams, so the older child had to walk. So maybe I'm still bitter about that. But somehow my mum coped with two kids, one pram and appallingly bad public transport.

I'd love to have twins. It may be more difficult at first, but at least you get it out of the way sooner than with two separate pregnancies. I would never dress them in identical outfits, except maybe for Halloween, 'cause that's just creepy.

Does anyone else miss Greenspan? Bernanke is awfully dull.

unaesthetic

hey hey hey, don't lump me in with my mrs. (sorry luv) i'm not nearly as militant as her. she's waaay les tolerant of other people in her personal space than i am. i have a lot of respect for parents - at least parents who put the effort in - and i can't wait to be one myself. i really love seeing engaged mums & dads taking their offspring out into the world with them. if a kid grows up going out to cafes and restaurants, they'll grow up knowing how to behave in them and what to expect (and so the tipping debate will come to an end).
but it must be a fair point to knock the selfish/oblivious brand of yuppie parent whose pushchair is the equivalent of an SUV and whose attitude to those outside their brood is comparable to iran's view of israel.
i really do try and be an understanding fellow-commuter. but there really are pushy, self-centred arseholes out there. and i don't think rainbow_carnage or i implied any of the parents on here were of that stripe. the hummer-prams are fine in the park, even in the caffs and restaurants, but are way too spacious and heavy for buses and tubes, especially if you include the ego and 'tude of the people pushing them.

rainbow_carnage

true dat. unaesthetic, in general, is much nicer than i am.

tosscat

You're not that arsey, RC.