Anyone been to the new WKD place oppo The Noble then?

Agaton Sax

Erm, anyone been to the new WKD place then?

tosscat

No, I walked past, it seemed enough.

steve

I went in there a while ago. On the wall was a large painted picture of monkeys having various kinds of sex in the jungle. It was called 'the garden of earthly delights' I think. I drank a beer, chatted with a lifelong friend about how we're both getting older and neither of us has achieved what we'd hoped to. I noticed that the drinks menu seemed to be purely focused on selling Smirnoff(tm). I had another beer. A Morcheeba remix was playing. We chatted about internet dating. Then I went home.

steve

actually, that wasn't WKD. That was The Sugar Lounge. Or Sugar bay. Or something.

steve

sorry.

andy

best 3 posts ever.

rainbow_carnage

I haven't been to WKD, but I would like to know what Steve (and anyone else) thinks about internet dating.

I don't get it. Maybe I'm missing something. Haven't tried it myself, nor do I personally know anyone who'll admit to using it, but it does seem to be popular.

I don't understand how it could possibly work. It matches up people based on... on what? On interests? So if I like books, it would match me up with someone else who likes books? That's just stupid. That's not how relationships work. Unaesthetic and I like very different things. It doesn't matter.

That's what friends are for, to share your interests. Love has nothing to do with whether you like the same type of music. I wouldn't want to be with someone whose interests are identical to mind. How boring would that be?

And values? How could the dating site possibly compare your values, other than in the most superficial way? And values are anything but superficial.

Has anyone actually met someone through a dating website? Did it work out? And if so, please explain it to me. Have they actually come up with an algorithm that quantifies love, or at least physical attraction?

I would understand it if it were just a catalogue that you could flip through and say, "Him, not him, not him, hell no, not him, maybe, no, no, yes, no," solely based on looks. But anything beyond that seems dubious.

tosscat

Dear old RC. It's not like computer dating from the seventies you know. A friend of mine (no really) met her partner through somewhere (could have been Match) and all it seems to do is bring together like minded people and enable them to chat a bit, see photos, look at interests, and then to go on dates (she went on lots of dates). I don't think the whole computer deciding on your perfect match aspect of things happens these days.

David

HAL says no.

Marquis

Just want to add that I agree with andy re: steve's posts. Pure brilliance! Please post more!

David

*see photos* (snigger) But yes, I agree with tc, it's no more or no less than a friend who sets you up with someone, the rest is up to the people involved.

James

No idea about internet dating myself but quite a few of my friends use it (not particularly successfully). This article describes the algorithms some dating agencies (US ones I think) use: <http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780553805406&view=excerpt>; (dating bit starts about half way down) It's an extract from a book called Supercrunchers - although it isn't very representative of the rest of the book.

David

I would also say r_c seems to be assuming a dating algorithm simply matches up two people based on what they tick as personal interests and personal morals. I'd imagine there's a whole section on what you want in a person too, which probably has more of a bearing on things than whether you both like books. I'm not quite sure why I am defending dating sites.

slats

My friend is marrying a girl he met on the internet next month. Mostly though the lower end stuff (match.com etc) is about getting some no strings attached sex.

Reg

My friend met his wife on J-Date (Jewish dating website) and another found love(rs) on mysinglefriend.com. Did you know that msf.com is owned by Sarah Beeney... is there no end to her talents?? Love you Steve.

ADGS

Seconding Tosscat's analysis.
I know a few people who've found people via it; some slightly Bridget Jones types who just wanted A Committed Relationship by 35, some with slightly less insane criteria, even one couple who did know each other in real life but eventually got together through flirting on OKCupid (which based on purely anecdotal evidence, sounds like the best of the lot, not least because people can design their own flowcharts to weed out anyone with particular deal-breaking issues).

rainbow_carnage

@David - That's not how the sites sell themselves. There's one with ads on TV now (can't remember which... maybe eHarmony) that says that it matches you up based on values.

When a friend plays matchmaker, that person knows you and knows what you're after. It's not something quantifiable. Sometimes I'll meet a guy and think, "Ooh, X would love him!" And it's not anything specific, like that he's over 5'10", pro-life and listens to acid jazz. It's more of a vibe. Just a vague feeling.

@James - Thanks for the link. I used to work in a psych lab where we did a lot of very specific personality profiles. It's not at all an exact science. And we were much more thorough than a site like eHarmony could ever be. Still, that's very interesting. I wonder what their success rate is. And how do you measure success, anyway? Based on the number of marriages? Are these marriages happy? Do they last? Are the people simply settling for whomever they get because they're worried that time is running out?

I wonder what sort of things people consider deal-breakers. For me, it would probably be bad tattoos. I love tattoos (have one myself), but bad tattoos says a whole lot about a person. I don't think I could ever be with someone who was stupid enough to get a dolphin tattoo. Or a yin-yang. But then, who would admit on a dating site to having bad tattoos?

steve

My contribution to the aforementioned conversation was mostly staring at the drinks menu and half heartedly agreeing with everything that was being said. I suggested that maybe she should go on a course or something, meet people in a less pressured environment, and she said that her mum had said that she should join a choir. I took that to mean that I was sounding like her mother, so I didn't say anything else.

andy

Oh steve, you seem so very maudlin today. Joining a choir is really only any good for meeting people who go to a choir. I'm not judging that, but it strikes me as a reasonably narrow demographic. One upside of online dating (I imagine) is that it would allow you to meet people completely outside your ordinary sphere of acquaintances. For example, I only know minor royalty, supermodels, millionaire entrepreneurs and Marco from Pappagone. If I wanted to meet a semi-pro Welsh wakeboarder with bad tattoos, I wouldn't know where to start. As for Sarah Beeny, is there anything that woman can't do?

jandb

... her hair ?

rainbow_carnage

A friend joined a kickboxing class to meet men. It turned out that most of the students were lesbians. On a brighter note, she lost 2 stone and improved her roundhouse kick.

I love adult education classes, but I don't think they're a great place to meet potential mates. Too many bored housewives and care-in-the-community types.

unaesthetic

slats - your friend met somebody on the internet next month? wow technology is ace!

who the feck is sarah beeny?

and bored housewives and care-in-the-community types are surely a goldmine of the aforementioned no-strings sex, no?

David

[eHarmony's 29 dimensions](http://www.eharmony.com/why/dimensions) Probably pseudo nonsense but you can't say its not trying to get a little deeper than what books you read.

bennyfromtheblok

I've got quite a few friends both male and female who have tried internet dating with mixed results. One is getting married next year and he and his g/f are really well suited and get on very well. Others have tried it and found that it doesn't do what it says on the tin. I mean, who would write on their profile they have a short temper, crave attention, must have their own way etc etc. But by the time you find that out they mostly have got laid with people they fancy so people don't seem to mind.
My tip is to join a decent gym and go to Pilates/Yoga class - it's actually very good for you and in my gym I'm often the only guy. Everyone feels very relaxed and it's really easy to get chatting to people - takes 2/3 chats to get to the lets have a drink but you reap what you sow. Being in the gym, generally people are quite fit and if you fancy them in work out gear with no make up and while hot and sweaty you get no nasty surprises.

Marquis

The problem about the gym/pilates/yoga solution is that all the nice guys/the ones who don't look as if they wanted to talk grooming products are straight, and the ones who are not pretend they are to avoid being thought of as a pervy gay guy on the prowl. But then, there's always the N29 bus!

I think dating sites work because apart from individual body odour/appearance preferences everyone is really likeable/loveable. Hope I am not being too cheesy. Here's one more slash:/

Agaton Sax

It's a date then. I'll see you lot in WKD at 8pm. I'll be the one with the N4 mug.

Marquis

I'd opt for the N29, in case we don't click.

unaesthetic

are you the gay hustler there's apparently a problem with on the n29 then, marquis?

Marquis

Nah, I'm easy, unaesthetic.