Cleaning

Philistine'sMonster

I've got a body I need to dispose of. What's the most efficiently environmentally-friendly way of achieving this? (DNA elimination is imperative).

Cheers.

Phil.

[Deleted User]

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miss annie

Those log chipping machines are supposed to be very good for that sort of thing, not sure if there's one available in SG though.

mazastar

I'm sure the council has a recycling service for that.

ADGS

Your DNA or the body's? If the latter, I'm not sure you're ever going to be able to render it entirely unidentifiable. But one or two of the local kebab places would probably be happy to take it off your hands.

Philistine'sMonster

ADGADS: The answer to your question is both. For it is my own body I'm trying to dispose of. To be honest, I might just leave it on the wall outside and hope someone carts me off in the bin-raid olympics.

Or I'll saw myself into pieces and pop my bits through Checkski's letterbox. He'd like that, I'll bet.

krappyrubsnif

I could do with some garden compost for the spring. A bit of self-loathing always does the beans some good.

taff bach

Personally, Phil, I use the icynerater ( how the fuck do you spell that? ) at the Royal Free but I can't post that as it might incriminate me. Ask for Abdul and take a bag of used fivers. p.s. at least Checkski wouldn't notice the smell.

ADGS

I thought Checkski was female? Though that could just have been some deceptive Buffalo Bill-style dancing.

taff bach

Oi Rubsnif, stop posting before me, it's rude.

taff bach

And you ADGS

krappyrubsnif

Very upset that you deserted me at the bar of the Stapleton last night with a full pint, Taff Bach. No manners.

checkski

Hmm. I'm rather inclined to agree, Krappy. Taff's remark about me 5 posts back seems gratuitously nasty. What have I done to deserve that, I ask myself?

Philistine'sMonster

I thought his advice to incinerate (rather than post through your letterbox) so you wouldn't notice the smell was kind.

checkski

Or that the incinerated you would be less smelly than the rotting you, on my doormat? Either way - silly me - silly misunderstanding. Sorry Taff. Sorry, Filly. PS. What am I doing on this thread anyway? As a figment of your imagination? I thought my persona was copyright. And coffee, right? I reckon you owe me one now, don't you?

dorothy

A hippy friend of mine and habitual drug user, died up a mountain in Nepal. Some monks came upon his body and cremated it on a pyre on the mountain, said some prayers and dinged some bells. I think he would have liked it that way. I've thought, since, it a method of voluntarily doing away with yourself. The monks may be hard to arrange, so you'd need to go to a very deserted spot and lay down after burning your clothes, then hope it's a good day to die.

taff bach

Is dinged some bells a sexual reference of the hippy variety?

kreuzkav

I think Checkski is a regular's alter ego. I've suspected this from the start but that last post gave it away!