Spiders!

emine

Trapped a GIANT spider in my kitchen last night and only removed it after downing two glasses of wine and holding a picture of Dennis Bergkamp in my hands (for strength). This is supposed to be the BEST EVER spider season (thanks to rubbish summer), though "best" is the wrong word I think. There are lots of small spiders in the house, noticeably more than last year. Anyone thinking the same? Are these small spiders the teenage version of the giant ones, and if so should I be removing any small ones I see? (Or are they a different species?) And does that conker thing work? HELP!

emine

Oh god. Its twin brother is now in my sink. Not sure I can get drunk enough to deal with it right now and I'm late for work...

andy

For people who don't like spiders, what would be worse - a cup full of big spiders, a pint pot full of normal size spiders, or a bucket full of money spiders?

Ali

If it is the bath or the sink it needs help to get out see here <http://www.foundationtv.co.uk/brilliantcreatures/ser4/spiderladder.html>;

Mirandola

Cup full of big spiders. Money spiders I don't mind, normal size ones I can sometimes deal with. Big ones make me do undignified things like squeal and ask for help. Must get round to doing the London zoo course.

dorothy

There was a GIANT one, in a GIANT web by my compost bin, which I manage to avoid in the daylight, but last night I went out to empty stuff into the bin in the dark and walked right through it. I had to rush indoors, whimpering, and quickly take off all my clothes in the kitchen, just to be sure it wasn't on me.

Arkady

It has been a bad year. Lots of the big swollen-bodied ones in the gardens of Mount View Rd – some real child-of-Shelob types. Worse still was the biggest house spider I have ever seen on my bedroom wall last week. At first I thought there was a big crack in the wall, but no. Seriously huge, I swear it was wearing a beret and reading Descarte. I eventually summed up the courage to issue it with a mighty thwack using a rolled-up copy of the local Lib Dem newsletter, but apart from a hairy arm left stuck to Lynne Featherstone’s cheery face (sorry Lynne) I never found the remainder of the corpse. I’m hoping it just disintegrated, but a night of fearful insomnia followed.

emine

Update: I tried to do the humane thing and trap it but I just couldn't. It was the BIGGEST house spider I've ever seen. Maybe it was the one Arkady couldn't kill - I didn't get close enough to count its legs. Because I've heard drowning is supposed to be quite pleasant, I decided this would be its fate but I knew the kitchen tap wouldn't be enough. I brought the hose in from the garden and jet washed it for - and I counted - seven minutes. When I prodded it with a fork..... it moved. It was some kind of immortal superarachnid. This was three hours ago and I'm still a bit shaky. I know I'm only two monster spiders in, but I've never known anything like this in my flat, N4, or indeed London before. Dorothy - poor you. I've stopped going into the garden (unless it's to release spiders) because every time I do, I get tangled in webs. I feel under siege. But I don't mind spiders so much when they're outside, it's the big dusty-looking scuttly house spiders that make me run around the house yelping. I still don't like killing them but my mum used to drop weighty books on them - always seemed to be the Complete Works of Shakespeare, which is the main reason I like him.

sophie

they keep laying eggs in my flat! i tend to ignore spiders if they don't move, if they're on the ceiling and i'm too lazy to get the stepladder. but the other day i did and found that a big fat lady one was sitting on a huge ball of orange eggs, which were impossible to get rid of and have stained the paint. nice. p.s. emine what is the conker thing?!

Margolada

Dorothy - thats my biggest nightmare! me as well if i see spiderweb in the garden stop going there. scary stuff out there!

emine

Sophie - that is truly a horror story. Apparently if you dot conkers around (in corners of rooms and on windowsills) it keeps spiders away. There is some theory the conkers, as they decompose, give off a smell or chemical that repels spiders. It was debunked last year I think by a bunch of school kids but I've heard enough anecdotal evidence to believe it. I did it one year and it seemed to work. I collected a whole bagful on Finsbury Park this afternoon (there are still loads left).

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krappyrubsnif

C'mon girls. I love spiders! In moderation of course.

marky

I don't want to tempt fate, but I haven't seen any at all in my flat yet this year. Maybe something to do with being top floor, but then there were a couple of MASSIVE house spiders last year. The thought that they may be hiding under the sofa/bed/furniture/clothes etc fills me with sheer horror, as does reading this thread. Hopefully we'll have a really early cold snap soon.

Re: the conkers thing, you can buy a spray called "no more spiders" which has chestnut oil in it, which spiders don't like. You spray it around windows, doors or any holes where they might get in. I bought some a few years ago and didn't see any that year.

harpistic

If cobwebs are an issue, I found out a few years ago that saxophone cleaners are perfect at removing cobwebs from walls, ceilings etc.

Though I'd hate to picture the webs of these monster-sized spiders - maybe Sugar Lounge's new coat of paint has radioactive properties of some kind?! ;)

marky

Found this pic of a nice juicy one from last year! <http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj219/mjf297/IMG00016-20100826-2320.jpg>; Can't work out how to make the image show up here!

Arkady

that looks like the beret-wearing one I mentioned earlier.

marky

Could be the same one, back in the day when he had 8 legs, and was still alive!

val

This is the time of year that spiders take over. I often wave a stick in front of me when going down the garden, to break the webs. (I discovered a neighbour does the same thing.) For the first time this year I saw a huge spider running across my sitting room carpet. Luckily it stopped to survey the scene, so I gave it one mighty whack with the heel of my sandal. Cruelty to animals upsets me, but it would not have known what hit it. When I die, I hope that it will be quick like that.

Four Eyes

Had a HUGE one in my kitchen last night. He was so big I'm sure he had a name and had to stoop to get under the fridge. Thankfully my kitty loves spiders (I don't mind them) and she gobbled him up in a flash

val

Arriving in Honduras from Costa Rica, my holiday room share found a tarantula had stowed away in her case. Shock horror! Screams! One brave woman (not me!) grabbed it with a towel and dropped it in a big flower pot, but I felt ashamed to be human when the hotel manager beat it to death. I must say that watching a spider construct its web is truly wonderful, as long as it is outside the kitchen window.

graeme

What most folk look like after walking through a spiderweb.

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/PjIdi.gif"></img>

krappyrubsnif

There is nothing more beautiful, exciting or frankly more awe-inspiring than the giant spider web often outside my parlour window, dew-laden, bejewelled and shining in the morning sun. Sometimes it makes me believe that God must be a spider.

dorothy

When I was young my little brother, who had no fear of spiders, delighted in putting spiders in my bed or down my back, just to see that mad Kermit reaction. He seemed to never tire of it.

I agree with Krabbyrubsnif, there's a real beauty to them too. Often around this time of year, in the morning when it's a bit misty, if you go outside and look up through a tree, there are loads of glistening webs, it's like fairyland.

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Ali

Just been watching a spider in the back garden. It has a single strand right across the whole width of the garden with is 12 feet and is busy making the rest of the web !

emine

I agree, spiders' webs are a marvel of beauty and engineering and we're lucky to have them. I don't generally mind outdoor spiders - some have amazing markings. House spiders, however, are a manifestation of evil. There is no beauty, only scuttly darkness. (Which isn't even the good kind of darkness.) There must be a gap in the market for an on-call spider catcher. I would pay good money for someone to remove spiders for me.

ADGS

KRS - "Sometimes it makes me believe that God must be a spider"

I derive a similar sentiment sometimes from the suspicion, especially common on Mondays, that everything is for the worst in this worst of all possible worlds. But then I have probably read too much Lovecraft.