stroud green film

andy

Wait wait wait. I need someone to clear up who in this thread is pretentious and who isn't? We appear to be circling an irony death loop, because New York punk is OH SO MUCH more authentic darling, but something something something jumpers.

kreuzkav

<p>The film carries on:</p><p>An earnest couple from a rich family meet at Seasons with their richer relatives.  They eat some lovely meats and some fine wine.  As they gorged on their food, they felt that it wasn't just eating but a sign that they were above many other people as it wasn't Cats or Porchetta.  They thought 'now Stroud Green has a restaurant where we can come and eat seasonal good food and feel above others.  The family, made up of 9 people decided to order the Chocolate Pot.  They then discussed the hate lesser people in lower paid jobs felt about them.  They debated the idiocy of this.  These people are stupid they felt.  Why should we feel guilty we have money.  While we were born with money, it's just the way it is.  Do they want us to pay more tax?  Yes, we've had a good life.  But that's the way the cookie crumbles.  We owe them nothing.  If they work hard enough they can have what we have.  They probably won't as the odds are stacked against them, social capital, as well as good education is in our favour.  However, they were tired of their grumpy nature and decided on something.</p><p>They decided not to eat the Chocolate pots. but to place them in their bags and walk up Stroud Green Road.  They walked up the road in their robes.  The made sure to walk up the narrow footpath and tut tut at any working class imp who tried to walk into them.  The got to the White Lion of Mortimer.  A pub with a grand name.  They took a look at the pot bellied working class men and tut tuted at them.  They said to themselves 'these men and women want to take some of our money through our taxes'.  They got angry and hurled their Season's choc pots at the working class men and women.  </p><p>They then hailed a cab and tut tuted all the way home!</p>

andy

<div>This is exactly like a James Joyce style stream-of-consciousness, if James Joyce had an IQ of 45. Somewhere between the first draft of Ulysses and the essay 'What I did on my holidays*' I wrote when I was nine.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>*On my holidays I rode my bike with my friend Paul and I went on holiday it was a camping holiday.</div>

kreuzkav

<p>Oh Andy, I'm not Joyce, Wilde or Becket.  I want to project my thoughts onto a forum.  I'm glad it got past the first draft of Ulysses.  I feel honoured.</p><p> </p><p>Power to the people of Stroud Green!  </p>

andy

calling them "thoughts" is a bit strong

kreuzkav

<p>well, stronger than season's pretension.  </p><p> </p><p>And New York music from the 70s and 80s was amazing.  Patti Smith was a punk poet.  She won't appear at some Sugar Lounge salon soon!  </p>

krappyrubsnif

<P>Why isn't that Danish detective with the woolly jumpers from The Killing in this?  </P> <P>She could be the woman from Hornsey homicide squad called in when Norman is found horribly dismembered on the Parkland Walk, gruesomely beheaded with a pizza cutter and with a Seasons chocolate pot ramikin placed significantly over his genitals.  She has to decide whether he has been murdered by outraged jumperless pizza workers or committed suicide from guilt depression and late night singing. </P>

chrisn4

<P>krappyrubsnif (finsbury park spelt backwards) went to the museum of london and discovered that in ye olde times men rode on horse back from the city of london to stroud green and then refreshed themselves with ale and the charms of local busty serving wenches while perhaps barging a drunken peasant or two out of the way and giving him a whack with his riding crop.a badge was discovered at the museum which celebrated this ancient stroud green drinking club that these old fashioned gents established in stroud green...i think there is something on the wall of the stapleton tavern pub opposite the old daily about this drinking club.</P> <P>surely,this could be an angle to a stroud green film...lots of buxom wenches with cleavages spilling out etc</P> <P>i think there was a film filmed in stroud green - a mike leigh film with a driving instructor teaching a woman to drive in the streets round florence rd area. think the film is called "happy go lucky" about a daft bird who is happy alot as life doesnt get her down despite facing difficulties in life.not one of mike leighs best films.</P> <P>imaginative sg.org readers might be able to do something with this perhaps...this forum can't all be "there is too much dog muck in  my street and i got a parking ticket boo hoo" got to have some creative people oh here </P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

chrisn4

<P>The horror novel writer,Steven King,visited Crouch End once.He had a walk along the parkland walk;as he walked alone along the parkland walk at twilight he started to feel spooked.He felt that if alone on the parkland walk you can feel rather claustrophobic and trapped,with nowhere to leave the path and an eerie feeling as if someone is following you.So in one of his short stories he set the story in Crouch End and the parkland walk if featured.The character in his story witnesses a sci fi thing on the parkland walk where there is a portal into another world,so you walk along the walk and you are transported back into another world.</P> <P>the film continues,</P> <P>norman feels confused about his sexuality so he visits the gay sauna,to establish the truth,he then feels even more confused so he leaves "the milking sheds" and  nips across the road for a pint of wife beater (stella) in the stapleton hall tavern pub.</P> <P>norman looks at the wall of the pub where krappyrubsniffs "ye olde stroud green drinking club badge is" framed.</P> <P>norman,thinks about the 17th century driking club as he walks along the parkland walk that weekend,to distract himself from being annoyed by people wearing jumpers and hunter wellies and all the labradors and that...</P> <P>norman finds himself alone on the parkland walk,he gets spooked,at the point where the bridge crosses the parkland walk and he looks up at the sculpture of the nature spirit that comes out of the railway trackside wall high up...</P> <P>thats when steven kings portal opens up and norman time travels dr who style to another world back to stroud green drinking club of the 16th century where busty serving whenches serve ale to the men before the men get on their horses and ride through stroud green firing off some shots from their pistols (no pun intended) at locals hanging around outside the sg rd taverns of the day ...</P> <P>to be continued...</P> <P>ps policemen wear jumpers but they are not middle class.they should arrest themselves...</P> <P>carry on</P> <P>   </P> <P>   </P>

chrisn4

<P>there are some good riters on err and no mistake mister,fank you very much gov...</P> <P>i enjoyed your creative ideas brodiej,especially where norman with a cigar on,he ditched the b and h since he became  a global jumper supplier, goes on a "nostalgic trip to the twelve pins" only to find his former workers on skid row, perhaps playing a game of pool. theyve got load of pool tables at the 12 pins in sg rd...they were probably playing pool or somefink</P> <P>this is good riting brodiej...keep it up - no pun intended</P> <P>glad you enjoyed the thread misscara...</P> <P>krappyrubbsniff - murder is a good idea.everyone likes a murder.although what would be the motive of murdering non jumper wearer norman...he must have done something bad for someone wanting to get revenge and to wack him.maybe norman done the first murder on a jumper wearer in an act of class war.and a jumper wearer bashes him.</P> <P>"and the greebos and the crusties and the goths, the only living boy in new cross" carter and the unstoppable sex machine... </P> <P>carry on with the good riting...</P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

chrisn4

<P>i feel that the murder that norman does must be motivated by anger at jumper wearers - it must have some class war element motivating it</P> <P>i think norman should be one of those socialist worker newspaper sellers that you used to see in the street, wearing an old fashioned flat cap and a donkey jackey and monkey boots.his jacket covered in left wing badges pinned to his coat and army surplus rucksack,cnd badges etc.</P> <P>as norman is out in all weathers in sg rd flogging his left wing rag to joe public he gets to know the local gossip in stroud green as he talks to people as they try and avoid buying the socialist worker newspaper</P> <P>some locals tell norman that an ex public school,slough comprehensive, jumper wearer who went to "the school",not harrow, has become the number one drug dealer in stroud green green.selling drugs on the local council estates and getting jumper wearing kids addicted to crack and smack.</P> <P>local snt cant do nuffink - even operation trident cant do nuffink - but norman can...</P> <P>non jumper wearing drug dealers dont stand a chance anymore and are pushed out the area by the new jumper wearing dealer in town...</P> <P>norman plans a plot to rid stroud greeen of this jumper wearing drug dealer along with his socialist worker selling mates... a gun is bought and a plot made to leave the jumper wearing dealer brown bread...</P> <P>a bit like clint eastwoods dirty harry except on the streets of  stroud green - </P>

Brodiej

Norman once again has been lured by the evil smell of money. He once bemoaned the wealth and opulence of some of the Stroud Green residents. Why did they always talk about olive oil, childcare costs, and that stinking BBM bakery that’s not even a bakery…because they just bake from frozen, and it’s not even French anyway? But now, he was a success, a jumper wearer…..a global jumper supplier! He can see an opportunity to grow his wealth when he sees one. Who cares about the kids, lets make some serious cash. With the Crack heads from up the road unlikely to buy into his Xmas range, he knew that while “Ashley” (the local jumper wearing dealer) was low-life scum, he was also a ticket into the lucrative narcotics business. He and Ashley agree a “buy a jumper get a wrap free” promotion. It’s in the run up to Xmas, and ironic Reindeer and Polar Bear styles are all the rage. A quick competitor review to the streets of Dalston and Shacklewell suggest his designs are on the money for 2011. But there’s a problem. Norman’s arch nemesis…..The Sugar Lounge The Sugar Lounge can never forget their old battles with Norman over the outside chairs and his noise complaints. True enough, they only had to bring them inside at 11pm…..but this is the recession and every penny counts in this difficult economic environment (they even considered frozen pita bread and Nescafe to cut the costs). Is a night’s sleep of one individual more valuable than the jobs and livelihoods of the hardworking Sugar Lounge owners and staff? Can hummus and Tsatsiki really be eaten that loudly? Norman’s vindictive demolition of the Sugar Lounge to make way for his purpose built jumper factory is the final straw. They will have their revenge. The Sugar Lounge employs the services of Max Clifford to promote the benefits of Shirts, and how they are much trendier and a greater sign of wealth and class than jumpers. “Shirts under jumpers” is shown to be the definitive fashion faux pas with the likes of Antony Worrall-Thompson and James Hewitt cited as typical culprits. The message is strong and compelling, helped with the Sugar Lounge securing television interviews with Holly and Phil, and of course The One Show together with several Sunday paper exclusives. Shirts are a cert, dumper the jumper Soon, the crack buying scummers are seen walking up and down SGR wearing deck shoes, and light blue shirts with the sleeves rolled up. Occasionally, one can be seen wearing Ray Bans. SG is a tranquil scene of people talking about horses, property prices, and artisan breads. The yoots are no longer fighting over postcodes and skets, its all about who gets the last table in BBM in the room at the back (the nice bit that’s like a conservatory), and whether there’s any carrot cake. The Sugar Lounge win a local community award for reducing crime levels, due to their excellent work with local young kids and are also invited to promote their message at London Fashion Week. Hummus sales soar, jumper sales plummet, and it’s back to skid row for Norman. Norman also resents that due to the high levels of hummus consumption, that most people in SG now have terrible breath. And it’s his entire fault. He takes his gun, and goes to find the Singing Postman.

chrisn4

<P>brodiej - this is good riting </P> <P>good riting indeed...</P> <P>...you had me in stiches...</P> <P>"why did they always talk about olive oil" -    ha ha- love it...</P> <P>"buy a jumper get a wrap  free" -- catchin jokes... bwoy... bare humour blood,you get me rude boy,innit...</P> <P>"can humous and satsiki really be eaten that loudly" ... some mandem are catchin bare jokes 4 real blood...</P> <P>soundtrack for da flick - "jump(er) around - by house of fraser, (house of pain)</P> <P>its all good in da sg hood when manlike sg.orgs mans is catchin bare jokes blood.keep it real...</P> <P>even da authorities dat is running dis forum is joining in and chatting bare comments and ting.one love... </P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

chrisn4

<P>kruezkav - good for you - IQ tests is for jumper wearers...good imaginative creative thread by you kreuzkav...</P> <P>miss annie - what is this sg bingo? not sure i follow that...thanks...</P> <P>poxy says "typsy perchance" ...again,no idea what that means,is it latin? must have been in woodwork at skool that day...</P> <P>andy says "pertinent" again ... no idea wot that means...do you have to take an IQ test to understand sg.org?</P> <P>marquis - sorry but I dont speak German.</P> <P>dorothy - u sound saucy...iz your name ironic..not entirely convinced you are a golden oldie...</P> <P>papa L says "needs a narrative arc" - is that something to do with noash arc? bunked off skool that day...</P> <P>brodiej - why bring prince harrys dad into this? (hewitt)...not sure i follow that line of thought me self son...</P> <P>"humous sales soar" ...love it...sounds like the sort of thing that the manager of little sainsburys in sg rd might say...</P> <P> </P> <P>  </P>

andy

can you still troll a forum if there are only trolls on it?

chrisn4

<P>andy - are you talking about yourself ?</P> <P>just asking ?</P> <P>carry on...</P> <P> </P>

kreuzkav

<p>Kreuzkav is alone on a Friday night after spending some time with friends at a bar.  He drank some beer.  Took the tube home.  He went to the convenience store and bought a vegetable somosa and a packet of hula hoops as a late night snack.  He thought, can life get any sadder.  Once he was a dj, ran clubs, was in a band and did some art.  Now he spends his time recovering from his job, drinking alcohol, cooking (something creative he still loves) and watching quality films.  He sometime posts his thoughts on a forum called sg.org.  He started posting after feeling angry about a pub with a terrible name called the sugar lounge having people outside all night.  He realises that he lives on a main road but surely they can do something about it.  After posting crazy rants on sg.org he gets the chagrin of many regulars who he feels have formed a special little club on the forum.  He knows he might be a bit paranoid but a few years of lost love, bad karma and over indulgence has taken its toll on kreuzkav.</p><p> </p><p>Nov 2011.  Kreuzkav starts a thread called stroudgreen film.  It's time he feels to make a drama out of a drama.  He wants it be a humourous take on his thoughts. Posts go backwards and forwards and he feels shame at starting  itand his constant rants.  Withdraws, then comes back on Friday night.  He finds Chris' post to be insightful and very funny.  He spends some time chuckling.  'Should I post again' he thinks.  'Why not?' he says.  The world is full of horrible people, why shouldn't I just give my slant on it.  </p><p> </p><p>Kreuzkav is reminded of a time as a teenager he picked up a little art book from a jumble sale.  Little bits of art and captions.  One of captions stated 'soon we will be lost'. </p>

chrisn4

<P>"watching quality films" - nudge,nudge,wink wink... we've all been their Kreuzkav,after a few ales and fine wines...</P> <P>on a serious note - i would suggest that you go to the citizens advice bureau in crouch end which is next to hornsey town hall.Tell them how noise is bothering you.And they can advise you on if anything can be done.</P> <P>also to be serious for a minute... if you google islington or harringay volunteers bureau they might get you some voluntary work to do at the weekend which might help if you r stuck in the "work,drink booze,sleep" rut...warning - some volunteers might be trustafarian jumper wearers with a pet black labrador called Ludo and pot of houmuss in the fridge,plain houmous from waitrose,not the red pepper humous they sell in tesco ...  </P>

kreuzkav

<p>Thanks for the advice.  I do some voluntary work already and get out and about most weekends.  I do have many friends and I'm quite sociable.  I like to sit in a dark room too.  There's something amazing about having a few drinks, listening to some really intense music and letting your mind go.  I just wish I didn't have to hear a load of drunk idiots outside SL on a Friday/sat night.  It has got better though. I have contacted the police and council about SL and while they're not very effective they did send people round to chat about it.</p><p>The films I watch aren't porn but pretentious arty European films.  Sometimes they're from other places like Mexico.  Film is a great love of mine.  I used to go to the Scala in my late teens, before it closed down.</p><p>I know I'm a bit of a negative person and depressive but I think it comes with the plus that I love life a lot too!  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I love homous.  I'm a vegetarian so eat it on regular basis.  </p><p> </p>

chrisn4

<P>well done kreuzkav - "keep your chin up" and KBO as winston churchill  used to say "keep bug-ering on"...</P> <P>not in the "milking sheds" sense - but you know,we are tolerant these days so we dont judge an that... </P> <P>french rom com film with subtitles - any man's worst nightmare - more later... </P> <P>on the top celeb spot thread miss annie says she has spotted caitlin moran in budgens crouch end...</P> <P>i am a fan of caitlin moran because i think she is a top saucepot as well as a witty riter in the medja n that...</P> <P>this is wot knitwear fan and prolific josher and witty twitter tweeter and the thunderer journalist,the times, caitlin moran wrote today on paye 7 of the times,tv review, saturday review...</P> <P>to be continued...</P>

chrisn4

<P>this is wot jumper fan and top riter, caitlin moran wrote in the times,today, ...the jumper theme  is spreading probably directly from threads on sg.org... no doubt about it...</P> <P>there is a paywall round the times website so u lot cant read it,murdoch ironicaly likes to keep the peasants out probably,  so i will help u out here...</P> <P>"in spring the slow moving danish series the killing became a massive cult hit in britain after it was broadcast on the bbc...the detective in the killing is a woman,,,she is called sarah lund...she wears a jumper...she never takes off the jumper...the permanently worn jumper is extremely important and iconic...last week radio times published the knitting pattern for the killing jumper so that fans might knit their own</P> <P>to be continued...</P>

chrisn4

<P>local media celeb,caitlin moran (spotted shopping in budgens crouch end branch) continues...</P> <P>the laundry arrangements of the permanently worn jumper have promoted much concern from the viewers...</P> <P>Caitlin develops her theme...</P> <P>"the killing isnt about the jumper its about danishness too."</P> <P>quite.</P> <P>a bit like the metaphorical jumper theme on  sg.org or somefink?</P> <P>yeah? yeah!...</P> <P>Caitlin continues...</P> <P>"i sat down to watch my very first episode...not exactly a killing virgin...i knew what to expect...a jumper...sarah lund appeared in a jumper but in a different one a red one this time..this signified both the passing of time - two years since the last killing she investigated ...and some character development...</P> <P> </P>

chrisn4

<P>ive never watched the killing,its on bbc4,and i prefer watching the arrows ( the darts) on sky tv...especially famous dart player,phil "the power"...</P> <P>but i think caitlin moran probably knows wot she is talking about in pursuing the jumper theme...</P> <P>but perhaps readers of sg.org would prefer comments from the n8 forum called  "opinion8",who seem to be continually on crouch end dog muck watch or n8 cpz watch..."not that there is anything wrong with that"... </P> <P>carry on...</P> <P> </P>

chrisn4

<P>kreuzkav - you say you are a fan of films with subtitles...</P> <P>cant help thinking fans of european art films with subtitles are probably based more on the n8/n4 borders than in finsbury park... </P> <P>whatever...</P> <P>nightmare phrase that "finsbury park based men" fear er in doors saying.</P> <P>if "the trouble n strife" - "the bread knife" says: "we are watching a french rom-com with subtitles tonight"</P> <P>you have to watch it,you know the deal...</P> <P>you store up points by pretending to enjoy the film with "the bread knife"... (wife)</P> <P>you know the deal... u watch the subtitled rom com then later in the week wife does the ironing and cleaning...</P> <P>she knows the deal and you know the deal.. u have to obey ... </P> <P>the european arty film starts..u doze off ..the bread  knife jabs u in the ribs...u know the deal ...u have to watch the film.. women know how to get what they want...and you have to clear out the garden shed at the weekend and take the junk to the tip...women run the world... no point in denying it...</P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

chrisn4

<P>back to the film...</P> <P>picture the scene - a large house in the n4/n8 borders...probably somewhere around Ridge Rd...</P> <P>youve invited all your jolly chums round for saturday night drinkies thats, binky,hugo,milly,cheska,gabriella,hugo,spence,francis,caggie,ludo,henry,jocasta </P> <P>it is going to be seriously fun darling...really really good time...henry will be there an everything...yah..yah..</P> <P>your friends arrive...and the braying rings out down ridge rd annoying some of the quieter residents...</P> <P>ludo shouts "totes amaze darling" as he barges into your once peacefull abode...</P> <P>your chums open your fridge...and you hear a shriek of horror...</P> <P>they discover you have bought tesco red pepper humus instead of waitrose plain humus...</P> <P>not only that but they have found your plastic tesco carrier bags stuffed behind the fridge...</P> <P>you didnt use your crouch end budgens "bag for life" after all ...but u said u loved the environment darling...</P> <P>not only that but they have found your ridge rd n8 applicatiion form for a residents parking permit - it clearly states that you own a 4 by 4 volvo gass guzzler car.."but there are so many potholes in n8 u exclaim"...  </P> <P>in a state of panic you know the game is up</P> <P>u quickly hide those unread zac goldsmith "ecologist" magazines behind the sofa...</P> <P>you open the champagne...</P> <P>"totes amaze darling" you exlaim</P> <P>those only way is chelsea people - omg wot were they thinking!</P> <P>carry on</P> <P> </P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

kreuzkav

<p>Kreuzkav reads Chris' posts  and realises Chris' obsession with wool jumpers and Caitlin Moran is a bit OTT.  Saying that, Kreuzkav is reminded of his liking for Caitlin as a young man back in the 90s when she appeared on many TV/music shows and he read  her newspaper articles.   He's watching the politics show and a reference to the Killing is made.  A series he likes though he didn't watch the two episodes on TV the previous night.  There's something about the bleak Danish landscape and the stoicism of the lead actress that is quite appealing to Kreuzkav.  He realises this is further evidence of his subtitle obsession.  Although he doesn't switch on the subtitles while watching TV.  </p><p>Sun floods the room. Kreuzkav savours his coffee.  Life is good for now!</p>

dorothy

I recommend 'Arthur Christmas in 3D' really cheerful.

kreuzkav

<p>Kreuzkav sees a post from someone called Dorothy.   He thinks of a woman of over 50, but thinks she's probably some 30 something trendy glass wearer insteady.  She likes to hang out in a knitting club with Miss A and Miss M.  I guess it's better than feeling miserable and watching subtitled foreign films and ranting about BBM or some rick kid cafe bar restaurant that has moved into the area.   He can't understand this fascism of happiness.  It reminds him of a time when he was 19 in a bar in Hackney.  Some middle aged man approached him and his girl and requested them to be happy and smile.  They were both probably happier than he was.  Both were enjoying a silent moment together, not smiling, but savouring their link.  We probably went home to have amazing sex while he went home to boredom.  </p><p>Dorothy, my favourite Christmas song is Fairytale of New York and favourite film is Nightmare before Christmas.  Evangelise your happy clappy cheer somewhere else. ciaoxx</p><p> </p>

kreuzkav

Kreuzkav wonders why Dorothy has posted this happy clappy fascist declaration, but then thinks she might have thought that my post about subsidence was negative.  I was only trying to confirm that there was a lot of subsidence in the area.  I didn't know much else other than that.  I said 'good luck' because I hoped she didn't or wouldn't have any. 

dorothy

Well, it wasn't totally aimed at you kreuzkav.  I just saw the film this afternoon and it had some real laugh out loud moments.  I was trying to alter the thread a bit, clearly I failed.