Christmas-safe zones in Stroud Green?

krappyrubsnif

For anyone who, like me, gets clinically depressed in the run-up to ‘Xmas’, I’m starting a listicle of Christmas-free zones in Stroud Green as of today. Christmas is not for another two weeks. By ‘Christmas-safe' I mean no annoying Winter Wonderland music and the minimum of decorations. In other words - normal.

First two nominations:

1. Front Room Cafe. No Bing Crosby and decorations not up yet.

2. Park Theatre Cafe. No sign of tinsel yet and decent background playlist.

Further suggestions? (Nominations for places to avoid also accepted - other than Tesco, obv.)

HolbornFox

The 12 Pins is looking awesome!

krappyrubsnif

By which I assume you mean ultra-Christmassy? [sickly face]

HolbornFox

It could only be improved by adding a few unicorns and llamas.

Scruffy

A fine idea, @krappyrubsnif . Although I get only cynically depressed, as an indignant atheist, I sympathise.

krappyrubsnif

I wonder how many militant Christmas-phobics there really are? More than people think, I imagine. It's not something one can usually to admit to in polite society. I met a charming young lady in the hell-hole outside the Post Office this morning, we immediately bonded over the pointlessness of it all - ‘can’t wait till it’s all over with’ - ‘neither can I’. It’s like being a member of a banned political organisation or cult - has to be talked about in whispers.

HolbornFox

If you want to be depressed just pop along to winter wonderland, capitalism in it's absolute raw state.

krappyrubsnif

Yuk!

miss annie

'Normal' in December is tinsel, trees, lights, singing and chocolate for breakfast. Maybe comedy sweater. For the love of God, life is pretty dismal at the moment, can't we all have a bit of festive cheer without people raining on the parade? If you think it's too much for you here @krappyrubsnif wait 'til you get back to your Italian country house. The average Italian family takes Christmas very seriously.

krappyrubsnif

I thought this might stimulate a riposte from you @missannie! Cheered me up no end!

I do think you might consider the causes and symptoms of real, actual depression more seriously though. It is not a trivial thing! I don't think I am a serious victim, thank God (only in times of enforced jollity and shopping), but I have met people who are, and not everybody gets their rocks off on chocolate, tinsel and comedy sweaters.

For the record, I promise to wear my comedy sweater in the Stapleton Tavern. But that will be on December 24th, when Christmas actually arrives. Put it in your diary.

miss annie

Clinical depression can be triggered by any amount of different things, a hot summer day at the seaside can be as difficult.

krappyrubsnif

I should warn you I find beaches difficult too. But that is an entirely different seasonal thread.

krappyrubsnif

Oh and can I reiterate - it is not easy to admit in public that you find Christmas depressing and a pain in the arse That almost always brings down on your head the accusation that you are 'raining on the parade' - as you have just proved. Guaranteed to make you feel even worse.

miss annie

I work in retail, if we put put all our Christmas decorations up at 9am on Christmas Eve people would still moan that it was too early. In my experience many people have no qualms at all about telling you that they hate Christmas.
I will continue to be enthusiastic about the festive season, it fortifies me for the unremitting bleakness of January.

krappyrubsnif

January is worse. But at least the days are getting lighter.

Ali

Not long to the 21st. Shortest day.

Scruffy

Is that what they're called, @miss annie ? "Comedy sweaters"? My word, they are SO funny, aren't they? I suspect they raise more smiles through uneasy projected embarrassment than genuine humour.

I find them socially divisive: Over the years the odd acquaintance-in-pub and hero-of-comedy-manqué has become quite crestfallen after, grinning like a village idiot, and apparently insensitive to the frosty opprobrium they've earned with their imaginatively original jape, they've resorted to actively drawing attention to their crap jumper (as we call them in English), as if seeking approval and expecting a laugh. The opinion (and, admittedly it's only an opinion, however inescapable for persons of sound judgement) "You look a complete arse!" followed by "Would you mind sitting somewhere else, please?" tends to dampen the spirits all around. The alternative—laughing along with it all and playing along with the farce of enforced jollity—would be too much of a toll on one's self-respect.

This execrable jumper fetish must have started with "Care in the Community" (and, in no small measure, Giles Badbreath). We ought to have an amnesty releasing convicted felons for the season, to make room in the prisons for anyone wearing such Christmas tat (e.g. Antlers. Antlers!)

As for decorations in shops, pubs, etc., my objection isn't that the decorations go up too soon, it's that they go up at all. No one needs reminding that it's Christmas, and people can decorate their own homes if they like. It's saddening how people in retailing repress their discernment and so readily prostitute their dignity for the sake of making the sale.

Arkady

Amazing bit of scroogery there Scruffy. Top marks. Bonus points for "hero-of-comedy-manqué".

krappyrubsnif

Antlers! The poor Tesco staff are wearing them now. It's probably a disciplinary offence to refuse.

Ali

Arkady. Would you not be tempted with this

https://www.ltmuseumshop.co.uk/clothing/adult/adult-christmas-jumper#selection=size:Medium__9

Arkady

I... OK that's pretty tempting.

N19lurker

Guy at work has had the Mariah Carey Christmas song on his phone since mid-November, and I think he'd deliberately arranged for his phone to be called more often since then - surely a disciplinary offence?

HolbornFox

Well the Kitchmaster General better stay away from Season, that is looking very festive.

Also I like the way Mind have made a Christmas tree out of CD's, very novel.

miss annie

I have no time for professional miserablists. I enjoy the festivities and the fact that you all do not is of no interest to me at all.

Anyone who wonders why retail and hospitality businesses decorate lacks an understanding of both industries. i don't see the point of decorating your environment if you work in an office, where there is no Christmas uplift and no interaction with the public. Not doing so when people are actively out Christmas shopping and eating/drinking would be self sabotage.

I cannot believe that seemingly intelligent people really do not understand this.

I also think comedy jumper day is a generally a good thing https://christmasjumperday.org

rikki

i'm not a capitalist, so i don't believe in xmas and i don't want it shoved down my throat.

miss annie

That is just nonsense.
Not everyone who celebrates Christmas is a capitalist and not every socialist is anti-Christmas.
As you won't be out celebrating or shopping, your throat should remain untroubled.

rikki

other belief systems are available

joust

I don't think it has anything to do with religion

miss annie

Is capitalism a religion now, like Jedi?

miss annie

I had not realised how many angry miseries are here. I'm going off to enjoy my Christmas. Happy whatever it is you people enjoy.

krappyrubsnif

Was in the chemist this afternoon sharing a (Christmas-sceptic) joke with the shop assistant when a person in the queue next to us remarked sotto voce: 'I've just come ten thousand miles to avoid it." She was from Australia. Hollow laughter. "You've come to the wrong place," we said.