Is the site...

tosscat

broken?

Giles

Seems OK - eerily quiet though.

poxy

It's a bit of a miserable day to be fair. Early indications on the mayoral vote do not look good.

David

Surely for a day to be miserable you need the majority of people to be miserable. I thought the majority usually ended up happy after a day of voting. That said, I only know one pro-Tory person. Where are they all coming from?

tosscat

Dumb ass places like Bromley where all they fixate on is the cost of petrol.

Colette

I'm miserable

David

On the upside, the only I can find amongst his policies, Boris wants to bring back routemasters and bus conductors. My grandad was a bus conductor. When my mum had to work during summer holidays when we were kids he'd babysit us by putting us on his bus and taking us round and round Barking with him all day. It was brill. Boris would turn my transport journeys into wonderfully nostalgic trips.

rainbow_carnage

@David - For that to be true, the majority of people have to vote. Voter turnout is estimated to be 45%, which is actually pretty high for this country.

I am unashamed to admit that I was one of the 55% who did not vote. Having lived under Soviet communism, where elections were (and still are) a sham, I refuse to vote for a lesser of evils. I am very uncomfortable with the idea of voting for Boris, but I would rather slit my wrists than support Ken. Ken has a polarising effect on the city. Someone asked me once if I thought that Ken is antisemitic. I don't think that he is, but I do think that he believes that hinting at the fact helps him get the Muslim vote. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but I'm certain that he's considered it. I've met this man. He's that kind of a scumbag. I will never put a cross by his name.

Boris, on the other hand, would be a disaster. So how does a girl choose?

I'm not voting in the US election, either, but that's more because I don't feel like I should have a say in the matter. I may have a US passport, but I haven't lived there in 7 years.

Giles

There was more than just the mayoral election - which was as you say the choice between the devil and the deep blue sea. There's the assembly, as Andy said elsewhere, which might just keep whichever liability gets in in check ( hopefully ).

andy

*I refuse to vote for a lesser of evils* In that case, you'll never vote. It's like the end of 'Some like it hot', "Nobody's perfect!" Voting and democracy doesn't lend itself to intellectually pure idealistic positions. It lends itself to Ken v Boris. You either make compromises or you don't play. But if you don't play, you can't complain.

David

Some strong emotions there resulting in doing nothing. Odd that I came to the same conclusion and non-action by simply not caring enough. I'd like to say it was ambivalence but its not. Anyone know of a zoo/reserve where I could actually hold/cuddle a monkey?

andy

Also, whilst it is among his policies, he won't be able to bring back Routemasters for two reasons: i) they're too expensive ii) no-one will build them for him, because the insurance liability for falling off them is so high iii) it'd be a total waste of money to retire all the existing fleet. So apart from price, supply and implementation, it's brilliant.

David

I think he was going to hold a competition to design a modernised routemaster. But then what's the point, if you can't hang off the back its a waste of time. If I haven't voted, but then Boris doesn't give me a routemaster like he said he would, have I forfeited my right to moan?

andy

If you want to moan about an imaginary policy not being fulfilled by a politician elected in an election you didn't vote in, go right ahead. You can moan about other imaginary campaign failures if you like, like Romano Prodi's failure to reintroduce unicorns to Regent's Park, or Sarkozy's inability to train rhinos to fly helicopters. Not sure it'll do much good though.

andy

I think we should split the job. Ken can be "Mayor of London (0207)" and Boris can be "Mayor of London (0208)"

rainbow_carnage

@Andy - I don't think that's true. I've voted in the past for candidates who weren't perfect, but who did not make me as disgusted as these two. You don't need to be in love with the candidate, but nor should you be embarrassed to support him.

As for the assembly, I honestly don't know anything about any of the candidates. It's my fault entirely, but it really would've been a complete stab in the dark. And that's not what voting is about.

It's really frightening how ignorant most voters are. Every time I hear someone say that the NHS if funded with NI contributions, I want to put a big "too stupid to vote" sigh on their forehead. I was watching a programme the other day about the outcry re not getting a referendum on the EU constitution. Fine, let's have a referendum. But before a person is allowed to vote, they should be tested on the content of the document in question. If you can't be arsed to read it, then you shouldn't get the chance to vote on it.

But you're right about complaining. I did not vote, so I shouldn't complain when Boris fucks up.

andy

Yesterday I was talking to a person whose judgement I normally rate, who is bright, educated, curious and said they had voted for Boris 'for a laugh because he's funny' I came away from that thinking that even with tests, people still make (what I consider) to be bloody stupid choices.

David

Brilliant. Does this mean I can complain about the lack of inner city monkey holding facilities?

andy

I think you'd be mad not to. I believe UKIP made a strong stand on it. In their manifesto it said: "No god fearing Englishman should ever be less than a furlong from the warm embrace of a gibbon"

Colette

@ David - if you make your way to City Hall - I'm sure Boris would let you cuddle him for a few minutes.

David

I've found [this](http://www.monkeysanctuary.org/howyoucanhelp/becomeakeeper.aspx), but its not in N4 and states _"There is no direct contact between Keepers for a Day and the monkeys"_ I mean, that's the primate equivalent of a routemaster with no open back.

rainbow_carnage

I vaguely remember a time when people owned monkeys as pets. Whatever happened to those people? Or, more importantly, those monkeys...

I would absolutely support any candidate that proposed a monkey-related policy. But before they're allowed to vote, people should have to explain the difference between monkeys and apes.

Colette

@ Andy - nice plan, but I'm 0208 and I'm only 10 metres away from SGR. I'd have to move.

rainbow_carnage

@David - So, basically you pay £150 to clean up monkey poo for a day? Oh, and you get a t-shirt.

David

Yeah rubbish isn't it? [Apenheul Primate Park](http://www.goodzoos.com/Netherlands/Apenheul.htm) sounds much better. _"Apenheul Primate Park opened in 1971 as a small primate park with a revolutionary concept: to allow the monkeys freedom of movement and allow them to mingle with the visitors"_ But Apeldoorn isn't quite N4 either.

andy

Wasn't there a post on here once that started "back in the 70s my dad won a monkey in a poker game" or am I completely losing it?

andy

[Thank god for that](http://www.stroudgreen.org/discussion/772/) I thought I was going crazy.

Colette

And so we have gone from elections to monkeys.

rainbow_carnage

I was in Lopburi in Thailand in February. You can't move without stepping on a monkey. The blasted things are everywhere. Sure, they are cute at first, but the novelty wears off after 20 minutes.

The people have trained them to drink Yakult, which is very amusing to watch.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/reenski/2325789494/" title="Monkey at Phra Kaan Shrine, Lopburi by reenski, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2319/2325789494_be2c634634_m.jpg" width="180" height="240" alt="Monkey at Phra Kaan Shrine, Lopburi" /></a>

David

Yakult. Pah. [Orangutans go fishing with sharpened sticks](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/04/28/eaorang128.xml)

rainbow_carnage

That is most impressive.

Now I want my very own orangutan. I would teach it to vacuum the stairs.