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Why oh Why
As resident grump I propose a 'why oh why' thread. Any grumps and grievances on any subject at all. Go on, get it off your chest. You know you want to.
Here goes with my first:
Why, oh why does every cafe in the entire world (including all of them on SGR) put a napkin *UNDER* your food on the plate instead of alongside it. Result: soggy, filthy, stained napkin, not fit for purpose; scraps of paper clinging to your food. Pointless, stupid, irritating.
Why oh why?
(Stroud Green angle: can we declare SG the first national napkin-free zone, much as some places are now plastic bag free zones?)
And merry sodding Christmas.
Here goes with my first:
Why, oh why does every cafe in the entire world (including all of them on SGR) put a napkin *UNDER* your food on the plate instead of alongside it. Result: soggy, filthy, stained napkin, not fit for purpose; scraps of paper clinging to your food. Pointless, stupid, irritating.
Why oh why?
(Stroud Green angle: can we declare SG the first national napkin-free zone, much as some places are now plastic bag free zones?)
And merry sodding Christmas.
Comments
In addition, they often put one under your cup.
As for my grumbles: where to start? At the age of 66, I have accumulated a lifetimesworth.
I would ban a lot of things, and people, from buses. As well as obvious offenders (mobile users, kids, people eating their breakfast and/or applying their make-up), I would target those who make the supporting rails greasy. Things are a little better at the top end of the rail, presumably because many offenders are kids, but not everyone is tall enough to reach that far. Chips and burgers would be forbidden, in my ideal world, but so also would women who, for some unknown reason, grease their hands, as we toil up Crouch Hill. Is it part of their make-up? See below.
The solution is to recruit people like my late mum, whose job, inter alia, was to check the hands of anyone proposing to lunch in the Indoor Gym. These were children, natch, but Gauleiter Checkski would extend the principle to all users of the W3, W7 and 210.
They could even install a tiny wash-basin at the entrance, with scented soap, and a nice old-fashioned towel, NOT paper, and NOT air-blower.... but I digress.
I'm going to enjoy this thread.
That's another thing about being 66 - you mislay things.
Or was that a glorious dream?
I quite like women putting on make up, sometimes it's an amazing transformation (not always for the better) all that attention to detail is fascinating. I pick up tips as well. I think the napkin under the cup is useful, it stops the drips getting on your jumper when you sip some tea, especially if you're quite clumsy and always spilling loads of tea into the saucer. I agree about eating food on buses though, particularly the littering bit. I hate it when there's loads of greasy chicken bones on the floor, smothered with tomato sauce.
A thing that's being annoying me recently is whenever I go to the gym, it's seems to be heaving with blokes, doing very loud groaning. Last week there was one with his personal trainer. I couldn't see them, because they were round the corner, by the bench presses, but I could hear them, he doing very, very loud groaning, while his trainer was going, 'It's all you now, it's YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, IT's ALL YOU, SO YOU CLIVE, OH YOU. It's quite showy off, and a bit of a performance, and obviously sounds a bit homo, but it's so stupidly macho at the same time.
It's catching though. I use a trainer sometimes and on Saturday he did the same thing to me. IT'S ALL YOU, YOU,TOTALLY YOU. Oh god stop it.
Is there anyone on here who can't remember the Falklands war?
Being able to put make up on whilst on a moving vehicle and surrounded by people look like an art to me and probably requires a lot of skill so I'll not have a moan about that.
I also like the serviette under my toast, I find it stops the bit of condensations you get when you put hot toast on a cold plate - rather a soggy napkin than soggy toast!
I'm with you all on the eating on the bus, especially stinky 99p chicken. This leads to a moan...why are there so many Chicken shops - is too much to walk an extra 50mtrs to get chicken? I know we can't expect the Royal mile, but does Blackstock Road and Seven Sisters need so many fast food places, they and the litter they bring are disgusting! And I'm supposedly of the generation that loves fast food....
I am a year short of 30, so I'm clinging on with dear life...
Any more?
I'm December 1980
lets get the voice of yoof on here...
But no sodding teenagers....
And no Faux teenage speak.... innit!
Thats one in the face of the old cronies...
Take that society!!!
Just having some cynical, torturous fun..
It's Christmas after all and when better to partake in cynical, Torturous fun..
Have a very Krappy Khristmas One an All!!
A crowded bus is all the more infuriating because of anti-social bags. My fellow OAPs are bad enough, with their trolley things, but you young'uns are even more selfish when you stash your entire wardrobe into an enormous backpack, which you then deploy as a weapon. Take the bloody thing off, once in a while!
The seated classes are no better. Move up, you b------s! Do you really think your bag deserves a seat all to itself? And if you ARE moved up, would you mind not leaving waves of overflowing flesh on my side of the seat? I am not here addressing the adipose, who can't help it, but those who obviously resent my presence, and refuse to tuck themselves up a bit.
Finally (for now - I know you will all be delighted to hear), a perfect example of Sod's Law. When taking the bus up SGR from the station, why is it always trapped by the lights at Tolly Pk? I have made this journey time without number, over 30 years, and only once has Fate been on green. Mostly, you have enough time to read War and Peace, whilst waiting, and fuming, and avoiding the backpacks.
Why don't you walk, I hear you cry, especially as you are only going one stop? Ah. But what would life be like, without my grumble material?
Obviously I've got a lot to moan about, but I don't know where to start.
Ignorant security people should always be challenged.
@ck them!
Lesson to be learned here: always go to your local offy to get that emergency bottle of vodka. You might have to queue up with all the underage drinkers but that's democracy in action ...
@jungle face jake
The Falklands wasn't a war it was a 'conflict' according to the cow that refuses to die and who's name I cannot bring myself to speak. On the upside back then you could very decent bottles of Argentinian wine knocked down to 99p in Jacks on SGR!!