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Is Stroud Green the new Crouch End?
I know I'm going to put the cat amongst the pigeons with this one, and risk being drummed out of town, but heck why not.
What's with all the babies and toddlers? Where did they all come from? I'm sure they're multiplying; soon enough we'll not be able to walk from Woody's to the Worlds end without negotiating starfish-pram-yummymummy constellations. We might as well demolish Paks and erect a f*****g clock tower and be done with it.
I'm suggesting a study based on 'The Big Garden Birdwatch' to monitor the situation. All volunteers should spend one hour staring out their front windows tabulating the number/size and plumage of any small people they see (with particular note of whether they're in a pram so big the disc brakes are controlled by satellite). I know where Bill Oddie lives in Hampstead; we just kidnap him and force him to present the results on a network of all the shop-front LCD screens up and down SGR. It'd rock.
Not that I'm saying I don't like toddlers; I just find them even less filling than a Fullback Thai.
I blame that woman from the Front Room.
What's with all the babies and toddlers? Where did they all come from? I'm sure they're multiplying; soon enough we'll not be able to walk from Woody's to the Worlds end without negotiating starfish-pram-yummymummy constellations. We might as well demolish Paks and erect a f*****g clock tower and be done with it.
I'm suggesting a study based on 'The Big Garden Birdwatch' to monitor the situation. All volunteers should spend one hour staring out their front windows tabulating the number/size and plumage of any small people they see (with particular note of whether they're in a pram so big the disc brakes are controlled by satellite). I know where Bill Oddie lives in Hampstead; we just kidnap him and force him to present the results on a network of all the shop-front LCD screens up and down SGR. It'd rock.
Not that I'm saying I don't like toddlers; I just find them even less filling than a Fullback Thai.
I blame that woman from the Front Room.
Comments
What I dislike are parents. Specifically, parents who think that their precious angels are somehow special and that everyone else should think so, too. This includes parents who let their kids run around screaming inside a small cafe, completely disregarding the needs of everyone else in the room. Also, parents who jam gigantic prams onto public transport at rush hour and get offended if other passengers take issue with having said prams parked on top of their toes.
i plan on being a marsupial dad. i really like those backpack-harness things, especially the ones round the front for the smaller babies. a responsible use of space and apparently beneficial to the child, too.
For sale: One baby carrier.
Will swap for: One catering size packet of Nurofen.
Now, which chiropractor / osteopath / traction machine operative was recommended?
I love how every parent seems to think that they are some sort of an explorer, singlehandedly discovering the difficulties of parenthood. And yet there are many parents who manage to raise children without an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. And bless the ones who fold up their prams before getting on the tube. They must have some sort of super powers.
It's easy to say that it's hypocritical for a non-parents to criticise bad parenting. Yet somehow we have no problems criticising politicians, policemen, cab drivers, etc., having never walked in their shoes. Pretty much any profession is fair game, isn't it?
I mean ffs- I'd like to see them say that to Ban Ki-Moon.
That's what I'm afraid of. The psychotic world of Crouch End mummydom. They're like zombies. Except with tennis rackets and shiny-white teeth.
I'll tell you what, though. While I've never been a parent, I was once a child. My little brother was born right after I turned two. That was the last time I got to sit in a pram. Back in the mother country, most families could not afford the luxury of two prams, so the older child had to walk. So maybe I'm still bitter about that. But somehow my mum coped with two kids, one pram and appallingly bad public transport.
I'd love to have twins. It may be more difficult at first, but at least you get it out of the way sooner than with two separate pregnancies. I would never dress them in identical outfits, except maybe for Halloween, 'cause that's just creepy.
Does anyone else miss Greenspan? Bernanke is awfully dull.
but it must be a fair point to knock the selfish/oblivious brand of yuppie parent whose pushchair is the equivalent of an SUV and whose attitude to those outside their brood is comparable to iran's view of israel.
i really do try and be an understanding fellow-commuter. but there really are pushy, self-centred arseholes out there. and i don't think rainbow_carnage or i implied any of the parents on here were of that stripe. the hummer-prams are fine in the park, even in the caffs and restaurants, but are way too spacious and heavy for buses and tubes, especially if you include the ego and 'tude of the people pushing them.